I don't have the answers yet, but I have learned enough to be dangerous, and ask better questions..

Never was a cornflake girl. Tori Amos.
Rethinking candida and bladder infections:
I've been noticing something about women's bodies, at least as my girlfriends and family report certain phenomena they experience. Candida and bladder infections seem to be very common in sexually active women in particular. So, what's up with that?

It seems that if a woman goes without sex a long time, and then she does have it, without condoms, she develops a bladder infection. The medical explanation for this is introduction of bacteria (from the male) into the uterine cavity, leaches somehow into the bladder through the thin walls of the uterus and then you get an infection. What you need is antibiotics.

Candida, or yeast infections, also seem to develop strongly in women after sexual activity. What's the deal? Same kind of thing - introduction of bacteria, and things start happening.

Hmmm. This seems an odd penalty for sexual intercourse, on the women's side, since men don't seem to develop these nearly as often. This got me thinking. When I probed this a little further with girlfriends, I noticed an interesting theme developing. All of the women I talked to (11) added a further detail that made me start wondering:

The sex they had was pressured.

They didn't really want to, but felt they should because it had been three dates, or their husband was on their backs about it, or their long-term boyfriend wanted it and it seemed easier to give in than put up resistance. Give in, shut the guy up..... and then get an infection. What to make of this?

Well, apparently, the body had never agreed to what the mind agrees to. Remember, the mind is easily deceived, but the body less so. So to me, this indicates that the female genitalia endure what the mind and mouth agree to but don't really want. The body is then not in alignment with the mind, which means that the woman is not aroused enough sexually, and is therefore not really receptive to what's going on. What do you expect would happen? The body resists and fights back the only way it can.

Or you can see it as poison sprouting in the tissues as a reaction to the self that won't defend itself adequately.

My own experience bears this out, with some additional pieces there. I had a bruised cervix once in a long-term relationship, which required painful scraping, and then abstinence for 6 weeks. Why? Too much sex when I really didn't want it with someone who was really forceful. Later, I had bladder infections right after taking a lover when I'd not been sexually active for a while. Why? Spermicide and internal resistance, combined. I wanted to be with someone, but afterwards it occurred to me that it wasn't really sex I wanted. It was connection.

To me, the lesson from (very informal) data like this is to once again recognize that all psychological or spiritual or emotional issues manifest in the tissues one way or another. The key to health is to be true to the self, apparently. Two, it makes me see how we as women sell our bodies too cheaply, when it is our hearts and souls that require nourishing. Women, I have heard it said, will have sex once an emotional connection is established. Men, I have heard it said, use sex to get to their emotions. So a woman having sex when she doesn't really want to, and when she's not really feeling connected to the partner....ahhh, all sorts of interesting things then start happening in the body.

The sexual revolution took some iron bars off, yes, but put a few new ones on, such as the notion that you ought to just be having sex all the time whenever you want it. Men and women. Great, but for women, I suspect, the key there is to know what you are really up to. Are you seeking connection, union....or sex? They are not the same, though admittedly they can all be present at once. But accepting one when you really want the other, well, the body will have some things to say on that score....