I don't have the answers yet, but I have learned enough to be dangerous, and ask better questions..

The idealist in me immediately responds with a resounding YES, while the realist in me, that ever-present voice that seems to see the world through pessimistic glasses, sidles up to the plate with a "now hold on just a second..."

I have always believed the answer to this question was yes, and my experience has always been the opposite. Admittedly, I am probably the cause of my own problems because I enjoy men's company, and part of that enjoyment is sometimes flirting with them for fun. When in conversation with someone who intrigues me or piques my interest, I enjoy the interaction immensely, and find really stimulating people exhilarating. And I love drama and a good theatrical time in general.

In my heart, I know I intend nothing. I want nothing more than a fun evening of conversation and wit. But in my experience, my men friends cannot help pushing those kinds of connections to the next level. It's almost as though we are programmed as a race to test every facet of the connection...we can't just be happy with a terrific mental connection that stays there. No, surely there's gotta' be something more there somewhere....

I also feel that when a woman is friendly to a man, and takes a genuine interest in his well-being, he interprets that as sexual interest. I don't blame men for this, really. Societal conditioning asserts that men pursue and women await and resist pursuit. When a woman therefore takes a friendly interest in a man, and listens to his opinions, or shares hers with him, in my case anyway, it's nothing sexual. But societal training goes against that and says a woman who puts forth her mental interest must be sexually interested too. She's supposed to wait for him to initiate and for him to set the direction. If she takes the lead, then she must want him.

I am not validating the correctness or incorrectness of this position. I am merely using it to show how men (and women) can misinterpret cues due to societal conditioning.

I am still friends with several men. I am still hoping that just one will be able to handle it someday, without feeling the need to push the envelope sexually.

I have faith one will. But our culture sure doesn't make it easy....