I don't have the answers yet, but I have learned enough to be dangerous, and ask better questions..

AP - Los Angeles. March 24, 2006 - A particularly lethal sniper has been targeting motorists on the LA freeways, causing at least ten deaths and many more accidents, some with serious injuries. There have been six individual shootings through yesterday. Police have been warning motorists to 'use extra caution' under bridges and overpasses, though they admit they do not know for certain where the sniper is firing from. The San Diego freeway (I-405) and Hollywood freeway (US 101) have both been the target of sniper shootings.

The shootings started on March 21, and admittedly have police baffled. Chief Bratton said in a statement, "We don't know who the sniper is. We just know he's extremely dangerous. He obviously is using a military weapon, which we've determined by the bullet caliber, and he's got supreme marksmanship."

The sniper has opened fire from six different locations, two per day, on two of LA's most congested freeways, making it very hard for police to determine the sniper's position, and even more difficult to predict where he will strike from next.

"It's been totally random", says Bratton.

When asked what could be the motivation for this spate of shootings, Bratton scratched his head, and then offered this surprising explanation: "Eyewitnesses in cars behind the victims' all indicate that the shooting happened immediately after the victim tossed something out the window onto the freeway. In the first two instances, it looks like the victim threw a smoking cigarette out the window. The third shooting was after the victim threw a Jack-in-the-Box wrapper out of the window. That victim lived, but is listed in critical condition. The fourth and fifth - we don't know what they tossed, but one witness reported something being tossed from the car of the fourth victim, which was right in front of him. The object, some paper or a bag, hit the eyewitness's windshield, and then the victim's head in the front car exploded, and his car careened into a meridian. We knew then that the sniper was targeting people who pollute, who throw trash out of their windows. The sixth victim threw a bottle, and was killed on the spot, travelling 80 mph. His  car then plowed into a tractor trailer, causing a major accident, and shutting down the 101 for hours."

Police are desperate to catch the sniper, and have no leads. Initially, they thought this might be the work of terrorists, but after eyewitnesses reported the victims each polluted in some way, they realized this is likely to be a US citizen, and one angry about littering.

"Why doesn't he target rapists or murderers?" wondered an LAPD officer, who did not wish to be identified for this article.

In a surprise development, the AP received a call from the sniper, who initially wanted to deliver a prepared statement, but then agreed to be interviewed, by internet phone from an undisclosed location. Though police tried to trace the call, it proved to be a futile exercise. In a prepared statement, the sniper revealed that she is a female, military trained, and declared herself 'extremely angry about the condition of this planet." She explained that she would continue to take down people who continue to pollute the Earth.

She stated that she does not belong to any known organizations.

When asked why motorists are being targeted, the sniper responded that all trash thrown onto the streets washes into storm drains during rains, and is then carried by LA's river and drainage system into the ocean, polluting the beaches and water often miles offshore. She said she is angered that people throw trash out of their car windows, without thinking of the longer term consequences.

"These people need to know what they are doing, and they need to be stopped," she said, with vehemence. "They'd rather keep their cars clean, so they trash the planet instead. They've had plenty of warnings and education about pollution. It's time for action, and consequences. It's my hope that this will get people to think about what they are doing, and to start taking care of this planet, instead of continuing to rape and trash it."

When asked how she felt about the fact that the people she targeted drove their cars into others, causing serious accidents, she indicated no remorse. "The others are guilty of polluting the air with their vehicles. I've gotten a few more cars off the road. Less cars means less smog, which means better air for all of us."

When asked if she would target drivers of gas guzzling vehicles at some point, the sniper paused. "I don't know yet," she responded. "I think I'll let you wait in suspense to find out."

She also warned that in the coming days, industrial polluters would also be targeted. She speculated that the Bush administration would blame terrorists, and perhaps attempt to then justify invading Iran. "I am telling you now that industrial targets in this country will be taken down because they pollute, not because our government creates phantom terrorists wherever they can so they can continue to corner the energy market, and reap billions in profits for themselves. They're all a bunch of sick, greedy bastards."

Police have issued TV, radio, and newspaper warnings, urging motorists to immediately stop throwing any objects out of their vehicles, including cigarette butts, and to attempt to stay off the freeways if at all possible.

"God help us if the sniper takes to side streets, or worse, creates a copycat syndrome," said an anonymous LAPD official connected to the case. "Then it will be total anarchy here."