I don't have the answers yet, but I have learned enough to be dangerous, and ask better questions..

Note to buyers for large department stores: when stocking clothing for kids, could you spend 10 minutes thinking about the effect 'Big Attitude' sayings printed on clothes will have on kids, schools, and parents?

What are you, a 22 year-old college grad, completely unaware, and frickin' irresponsible?

My daughter had a friend for sleepover the other night at our house. She wanted to take this little girl shopping for her birthday present. So we went to the mall. Bombed out at the toy store, but hey, how about some clothes? Hey, there's a Sears! Let's go look.

They are both cute 10 year-olds that enjoy finding clothes in bright colors with snazzy icons on them, that say cute things.

Cute things.

Like, "can you resist this face?" We bought that t-shirt.

But there were a lot of clothes in there with attitude I'd prefer my kid doesn't adopt. Her school recently sent home notices about not wearing these kinds of clothes. Check out some of the sayings I saw on clothes for little girls and adolescent girls:

"I do what I want, when I want, where I want". On a set of pajamas for 10-12 year-olds.

"Your problem with this is WHAT?" on a t-shirt for 10 year-olds.

"Kiss my you-know-what" on the back of a pair of pants for 11 year-olds.

I just think this is highly inappropriate for girls' clothes. I get it that kids develop attitude when they become teens. I get it that they want to separate and become individuals as opposed to extensions of mom and dad. I support that process.

But I think we could send empowering messages, rather than Big Attitude ones. Especially for girls.

My daughter has a shirt I dearly love. I bought it for her. It says, "A wise man once said, "I don't know. Go and ask a girl."

I like this kind of messaging. My friend makes this cool set of duds called Boodha Babies. She has this hip baby, drawn in outline, with a diamond on its belly, grinning like a buddha, and saying, "peace, baby." I have seen other t-shirts with messaging on them like 'girls rule', 'girl power', and 'girls rock'.

This kind of messaging affirms girls, affirms kids, and sends out vibes that are more inclusional, and less attitudinal. What choices does a parent have, standing in a sea of clothes for kids with nothing on them but Big Attitude? How can parents find something the school, the other parent, and other kids won't have trouble with? Jeez...What are the clothing buyers at Sears thinking in stocking crap like the Big Attitude stuff???

Soon I'll be reduced to buying plain white t-shirts and painting / stencilling empowering messages on them.

Hey, now THERE'S an idea....